And, of course, there will be time to really get in-depth in all the psychological reasons behind buying stupid shit — and I’m sure there are many of them, and I will never be able to fully understand them all — but for now it’s important to at least call out the basic things that bring about an immediate sense of regret.

Unnecessary taxis: This is probably the most upsetting thing of them all, because you actually get to stew inside the cab as you watch the ticker go up, watch the city go by, and think of all the easy, convenient ways you could have gotten home (and hell, maybe gotten some exercise while you’re at it) if you weren’t lazy and awful. Taxis can be good in certain specific situations, but if I’m just too tired to change metros or don’t want to walk more than a certain number of blocks, I will always hate myself every second of the ride (and cringe at the charge when I eventually look at my account).

Expensive cocktails: I suppose, once in a while, these are fine. But that once in a while should be pretty few and far between, because expensive cocktails are insane. In New York, it’s not unusual to find bars with 15+ dollar drinks, and to see a basic cocktail at a decent-to-nice bar be about 12 dollars. And this is absurd. Aside from the fact that you can easily spend 50 dollars on A COUPLE OF DRINKS, the endgame is that you get a little tipsy, consume 1,000 liquid calories before you even eat, and pee it out a few hours later. Getting a drink at a bar is fine, but spending 13 dollars on some stupid gimlet that’s usually not even that good is just an enormous waste.

Trendy clothes that don’t look good on me: Something comes into style, I try it on, I see that it does not at all flatter my body, I buy it anyway because I’m at Zara and it’s only 30 bucks and after all that’s the price of two nice cocktails, right?? And then I never wear the stupid harem pant jumper or whatever it is, and am filled with hate every time I see it in my closet.

Lackluster beauty treatments: Here’s the thing about nails or hair or makeup or whatever: it has to be good to be worth it. And frankly, too many times I’ve gone in for a shoddy manicure in a color I didn’t really like, or a haircut at a salon that was both overpriced and understaffed, and I’ve come out not only feeling ugly, but also hating myself for spending unnecessarily. Aesthetic treatments should only be purchased when you are sure that the result is going to be good, because if there’s one thing worse than a shitty haircut, it’s having to see that shitty haircut in the mirror every morning and know that you paid 100 dollars for it. I don’t mind paying good money for beauty treatments, but taking the time to do the research for the right place (and knowing exactly what you want when you go) is of the utmost importance.

Pushy salesgirl purchases: One quality of mine that leads to a lot of regret-filled spending is my extreme anxiety when it comes to saying no to pushy salesgirls. They can smell it on me, and harass me with false compliments until I feel morally obligated to buy some ugly cardigan just to get them to leave me alone, and to feel that I did not waste their time. I have almost always hated everything I’ve bought because I felt like I needed to “justify my presence” in a store, or to appease a retail vulture. And granted, this is more psychological than anything else, but it still results in a lot of terrible purchases.

Unnecessary Seamless: This one, like taxis, needs to be qualified, because I don’t always regret the food I order in. Sometimes it’s a wonderful, even necessary thing, and it provides me with great joy and satisfaction. But I would say at least half of the time I order food, it’s because I’m profoundly lazy and tired or hungover, and don’t feel like taking a second to cook, run to the grocery store, or even go outside and eat the food in the restaurant like a functioning human. Because ordering in is often no less expensive than going out, even if it doesn’t feel quite as much of a commitment. And when it goes from being a luxury to a norm, you just start to feel like this gluttonous aristocrat who demands food be brought to them on a silver platter.

These are just the basic things, of course. And I’m sure there’s more that I haven’t thought of. But these are the kind of purchases that not only do I know are idiotic as I’m making them, but immediately come back to haunt me when I cringe at my checking account and realize that 250 dollars went into just delivery food, a stupid cardigan, and a couple taxis over the past week. 250 dollars is a lot of fucking money — enough money for a weekend in an AirBnB somewhere sweet and new and fun — and wasting it on pointless bullshit is the first ugly habit that must go.

This includes physical, emotional, and interpersonal clutter which only serves to detract you from focusing on your personal growth. Self-care and self-love require the space and energy to expand yourself, improve yourself, and to reach higher levels of spiritual and psychological well-being. You can’t achieve this by allowing unnecessary excess in your life.

Clean the physical spaces where you live, because physical clutter can affect your mindset every day. An organized, tidy living space can do wonders for your mood and help you to complete tasks more quickly because everything has its place. Cut the toxic interactions with people you don’t need in your life which are only bringing you down. Stop allowing negative people to take up the space in your mind, heart and soul — they don’t belong there and the ruminations you’re engaging in over them are virtually useless. Refine your to-do list — stop trying to do a million things every day and instead, prioritize the main tasks which are most important to you and closest to what you value in life.

Remember, quality beats quantity when it comes to self-care, so invest only in relationships and friendships that make you happier, pursue only the goals that are true to your deepest desires, and save your energy and talent for those worthy of you.

2. Give yourself unconditional love every day, no matter what.

Unfortunately, no one can really give this to you except yourself. Human beings, while capable of extraordinary love and compassion for others, still love others conditionally. When I say unconditional love, I truly mean unconditional, unlimited, infinite love. It may seem impossible to achieve, but do the best you can to love yourself regardless of whatever circumstances you may have in your career, relationships, status, power, finances, and so forth.

I highly recommend reading the book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant to understand how to enter into a mindset of self-love with a simple mantra. Loving yourself unconditionally also means loving all of you — your flaws, your strengths, your secrets, your weaknesses. Every part of you is important, unique, and worthy of love. When you give yourself unconditional love, you find yourself recognizing people who don’t give you the full acceptance you deserve, which makes it easier to clean out the interpersonal clutter as mentioned above.

3. Take care, holistically.

Creating a balance between work and play is essential to maintaining holistic self-care. Don’t focus just on one aspect of your life when it comes to self-care. Energize your body, nourish your spirit, and enlighten your mind. Meditation is important for your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. Yoga, Pilates, dance cardio, and running are great ways to get into shape and improve your mood. Eating mindfully will also help you to achieve optimal levels of energy and fitness while making your body less vulnerable to disease.

Writing, reading, and taking classes that interest you will keep your mind sharp, alert, and always learning. Don’t forget to maintain an active social life in the form of healthy relationships and friendships, as these are essential psychosocial resources that will serve as a crucial source of support and enhance your enjoyment of life.

4. Have high standards and stick to them.

Self-respect is crucial to self-care because it protects you from settling for less when you deserve the best. This is toxic to how you view yourself and how you allow others to treat you, your values and your boundaries. If you allow others to trample over your expectations constantly, you’re debasing your worth and chopping away at your self-esteem.

You might be afraid that if you have high standards for yourself, people might perceive you as a high-maintenance person and even abandon you in the process. Let them. It doesn’t matter — in fact, it’s probably a good thing that they do abandon you and reveal their true colors. At the end of the day, your opinion of yourself and what you deserve is all that truly matters in life.

Having high standards in your career and relationships protect you in the long-run from scammers, emotional predators, and exploiters from sucking you dry and leaving you drained. Think of things that fall below your standards as a bad business deal. You’re not getting what you need and want out of it, but the person on the other side is. It’s not worth the investment if someone else is benefiting from the positive return.

5. Pursue your true passions.

Life is too short to waste your energy by allocating resources into goals that are not truly your own. Caring for ourselves means remaining authentic and recognizing our true passions. Don’t be pressured into picking a certain career path just because society says it’s the right one for you; don’t always settle for crappy jobs just because they’ll pay the rent; don’t pursue a major just because of its financial rewards unless it’s something that really interests you.

Sometimes you will have to make do with what you have in order to survive, but be sure you’re still looking for ways to improve yourself and progress to something better and something that represents your true calling. For example, if you’re a waiter who dreams of writing the next big screenplay, continue working on it when you have the time. Setting aside time to pursue your dreams is important because these are things no one can take away from you. You own the right to all of your dreams and the ability to make them come to life.

The key is to still be practical, but also to be passionate. You were not meant to live this life doing just what is required to survive; you were meant to live life chasing your dreams. Don’t be afraid of failure, because failure is a learning experience that will strengthen you and prepare you to do better in the future.

Would you rather sit around and live in the regret of not knowing what would’ve happened if you had tried, or would you rather lead an exciting life by taking on risks and challenges that will ultimately lead you to what you were meant to do?

It’s okay to explore multiple interests and talents; you don’t have to limit yourself to one pursuit. However, if you do have that one dream that’s been pulling at your heartstrings, start chasing it now. If you want to write a book, start by writing a blog or start writing the chapters to the book. If you want to go back to school, start looking up different programs.

Take small steps today to start paving the path to tomorrow. Achieving long-term goals and big dreams are possible so long as you put the effort into making them happen. The most successful people I know are not just passive dreamers; they are active chasers who make an effort every day in order to accomplish their goals.

6. Minimize people-pleasing.

Nobody wins when it comes to people-pleasing, except a person on the receiving end that’s out to exploit you. Our tendency to people-please takes away from our authentic self, drains us of our energy, and deprives us of our ability to take care of ourselves in meaningful ways. By creating falsehoods in our relationships and interactions with others, we detract from who we were meant to be and pigeonhole ourselves into being who we’re not just to please others.

Be confident that who you are and the things you you want, feel, and experience are completely valid. You don’t have to change to gain someone else’s approval; if someone disapproves of you, that’s okay. Rejection is not about your self-worth — it’s about another person’s wants, needs and preferences. Don’t see it as a selfish thing to honor your true self; it’s not selfish, it’s self-care and self-love.

7. Be mindful.

Many of us go through life mindlessly and this detracts from our experience of present joy. This mindlessness is exacerbated by our fast-paced, technologically advanced society. We are so absorbed in social media and the buzz of our phone that we forget to appreciate the everyday, simple pleasures that come our way. The humming of the birds, the color of the sky, the beauty of someone’s smile, the colorful and delicious food in front of us — these are all things we should be mindfully enjoying, and neuroscience research supports that mindfulness can enhance the parts of our brains that contribute to better emotional regulation.

Being attentive, aware and alert to our surroundings and the present moment is vital to experiencing each moment of life more fully and enhancing its joy. So make sure to take at least a couple of hours each day where you release yourself from the distractions of technology and enjoy nature, be engaged with whomever you’re with, and immerse yourself in the conversation you’re having.

If you need help in doing this, start writing in a journal about the various things you observed during the day and how attentive you were to them. It takes practice to be more mindful in everyday life, but it’s a worthy practice since it greatly enhances your experience of life’s everyday moments.

8. Cultivate a lifelong habit of gratitude and abundance mindset.

Being grateful shouldn’t be set aside for the holidays; it should be a way of life. Think of gratitude as another important component of mindfulness and as a lifelong habit that should be practiced every day. It teaches you to be mindful of the things you take for granted every day, from basic things like your ability to see and walk to the bigger accomplishments like having a good job, access to education or a supportive network of friends.

Whether during times of strife or times of bliss, it’s helpful to write in a gratitude journal and take note of all the things you have in your life — remember, these are the same things that other people may be praying for.

9. Give back to the world you live in.

Remember how we talked about your unique talents and goals? This is one of the best incentives for exploring them. You are part of a larger world that needs your help. Whether it’s through volunteering, research, activism, teaching, there are a myriad of ways to give. Find creative and engaging ways to help others whenever possible, whether its sharing resources or investing your time and energy into a cause you care about.

You are here for a purpose and that purpose is tied to benefiting this world in positive ways. As you learn to love and care for yourself better, you’ll also have more positive energy, love and compassion to give to those around you. Embrace your destiny and change the world.

10. Honor and validate your feelings. All of them.

As someone who would qualify as a HSP (highly sensitive person), I know how tough it can be to honor and validate your feelings in a world that’s becoming highly desensitized to emotions and meaningful relationships. However, this last self-care commandment is perhaps the most important one of all. If you can’t honor and validate your own emotions, you’ll allow others to belittle and invalidate them, which means you’re permit toxic people to enter your life without thinking twice.

You’ll make yourself vulnerable to gaslighting, manipulation, coercion, and abuse. You’ll settle for less because you believe that your feelings don’t matter. Guess what? They do. You have to live with your emotions every day. That’s why it is so vital that you learn to honor them.

Validate every emotion you have, even if you think it’s inappropriate or “wrong” somehow. Emotions aren’t meant to be rational, by the way. They are meant to be signals that provide information about situations you’re experiencing or thoughts that you’re having. Honoring and validating your emotions means telling yourself, “It’s okay that I have these feelings. It’s valid that I have them. These emotions are telling me something about this experience. Now I have a choice on how to react to them.”

You don’t have to make your decisions based on your emotions alone, but you should consider them in the decision-making process when it comes to relationships, friendships and personal goals. Honor your feelings and you’ll honor yourself. | For more work like this, check out my book on manifesting self-love and abundance, Powerful Alchemy.

1. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY.

Yes you have half the attention span and double the mood swings of everyone else you know – but these are both simply quirks of your personality that you’ll learn to manage with time. It’s also a product of being surrounded by people who perceive the world using an entirely different set of cognitive functions than you do – once you start meeting likeminded people and working at something you love, your moods will even out and your attention span will magically spring into existence. Funny how that works!

2. There are other people out there who feel things as strongly as you do.

The intense passion that you bring to everything you love is not unique to you. There are millions of people out there who experience the world with all of the depth, intensity and passion that you do. It’s just that very few of them live in your hometown. Don’t worry! You’re not alone!

3. The things you perceive to be your weaknesses will end up being your greatest strengths.

Your stubbornness, your restlessness and your tendency toward over-analysis are going to take you further in life than you could ever imagine. There is no sense in trying to tone down who you are. Be the strange, emotional, fiercely independent person that you are and learn from every waking second of it.

4. You’re not going to be this indecisive forever.

Your main function is a perceptive function, which means that in your younger years you’re going to just want to EXPLORE. DISCOVER. ADVENTURE. And you’re never going to want it to stop.

As you grow up, your decision-making functions (introverted feeling and extroverted thinking) are going to mature and suddenly you’re going to be this person who is capable of making decisions (I know. What?!). It’s going to be awesome. Until then, just enjoy the chaos. It’s a lot less stressful when you realize it’s not going to last forever.

5. To attract people who are like you, you have to act like you.

There are so many other intuitives out there who think along the same lines as you do – but you’re never going to meet them if you’re spending all your time trying to act like something you’re not to fit in with the sensors. Be your loud, speculative, adventurous self – that’s precisely how you’re going to attract the people you want to be around.

6. Ignore every person who ever tells you “You can’t.”

What they really mean is “I can’t.” You’re an ENFP. Everything you want in life, you’re going to make sure you get, because you don’t mind going the extra mile. And you’ll be surprised at how under-crowded that extra mile is.

7. University is not the only way to get an education, nor is it the sole measure of intelligence.

When you do go to school, you’ll learn more from late-night talks with your classmates than you will in any lecture hall. You learn through doing, through debating, through experiencing and through reflecting. So don’t stress too much about memorizing the textbook – your ability to think on your feet is going to take you much further than your GPA ever will.

8. You don’t know as much about other people as you think you do.

You are quick to jump to conclusions about others and it’s going to get you into hot water more than once. Remember that introverted feeling is based on your own experiences – and those don’t always relate to others’ experiences. Listen a little more, assume a little less. You have infinitely more to learn from other people than you think you do.

9. Do more of what you love and less of what you think you should do.

Disinterest is your kryptonite. You are 100% guaranteed to be bad at anything you try to do that doesn’t interest you and the easy solution to this is to simply not do it. You CAN make a career out of traveling, out of freelancing; out of whatever passion you happen to be invested in. You’re just going to have to think outside the box to get there –luckily, that is your strong suit.

10. So many things about yourself are going to change but the core things never will.

90% of your interests are fleeting – and that’s okay! It’s good to know a little bit about a lot of things. The 10% of your interests that aren’t fleeting are pervasive as hell – and you already know what those are. Stay true to your morals, true to your passions, true to your inclinations and true to yourself. You already know who you are. Now it’s just a matter of what you’re going to do about it.

Personality assessments like the ‘Cube Personality Test’ are a fun way to guide your mind and reflect upon what your truest wishes are.

What is a Personality Test?

Personality tests were created to help psychologically categorize one’s personality traits, behaviors, and motivations. The purpose behind these categorizations is to showcase how one perceives the world and cares to interact with it.

There are two common types of personality tests:

• Objective Tests: Tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or The Love Language Quiz are objective as they rely on self-indicated answers.
• Projective Tests: Tests such as the Rorschach Inkblot Test (or the Cube Personality Assessment you’re about to read more on), are projective because their reflections and answers are based on unconscious thoughts.

It’s important to note that personality tests are psychological tools and are often more reflective guides and practices rather than anything prescriptive.

What is the Cube Personality Test?

The Cube Personality Test is a projective visualization test that was created in the late 90s by author Isamu Saito and psychologist Tadahiko Nagao. This test was originally written about in the Kokology book series that coincided with a Japanese philosophical movement at the time. The Kokology cultural movement is linked to the procurement of various psychological visualizations that help people unlock profound insights about themselves— their fears, their goals, their relationships, etc.

Later on, international writer Annie Gottlieb brought certain visualizations, such as the Cube Personality Test, to Western audiences through her book Secrets of the Cube.

The Cube Personality Test leads its test taker to imagine a series of objects and hone in on the specific qualities of the objects they imagine. After their visualizations end, they are led to an answer key that helps them to evaluate their projections and unlock deeper truths about their inner worlds.

Begin: Cube Personality Test

Before you begin, it’s important to mention that this test has no right or wrong answers. Please interpret the prompts as you see fit and let your imagination wander.

Step 1:

In order to begin, close your eyes and picture you’re in a vast, open desert. Then, walk yourself through a series of objects, each appearing one after another:

• Cube
• Ladder
• Horse
• Storm
• Flowers

Step 2:

Now close your eyes again and evaluate the objects’ details more critically. Note your observations on the following questions:

• Cube: How big is it? What is it made of? Where is it located in the field? Is it transparent? Is the cube on the ground or is it in the air, floating?
• Ladder: How tall is the ladder? What is it made of? Where is the ladder in relation to the cube (nearby, far away, etc.)?
• Horse: What color is the horse? What is the horse doing in the desert? Where is the horse in relation to the cube?
• Storm: What does the storm look like? Is the storm going to last a while or just pass over? Where is the storm in relation to the cube?
• Flowers: What color are the flowers? How many flowers are there? What kind of flowers are they? Where are they located in the desert and in relation to your cube?

Step 3:

After noting your observations to the questions above, walk yourself through the answer key below. Reflect on what each object symbolizes and what your visualization of them signifies for your unique personality.

Answer Key: Cube Personality Test

Cube

The cube you visualized represents yourself— your ego, sense of identity, and current self-perception.

• Size: Represents your confidence and presence in the world (think large cube = boisterous, confident, loud, whereas small cube = soft spoken, introverted, shy).
• Material & Transparency: Represents your emotional availability and openness (think steel cube = guarded and harder to reach, whereas glass cube = vulnerable and open). Also, how solid the cube seems can reflect your security in yourself.
• Color: Represents your emotional tone (think optimism vs pessimism, etc.)
• Position: Represents your inclination towards practicality or spontaneity/creativity (think cube on ground = logical and practical, whereas cube in air = creative spirit, more free-flowing).

Ladder

The ladder you visualized represents your dreams and goals, along with how you plan to achieve them.

• Height: Represents the reach of your goals. Meaning a long ladder could signify high aspirations and lofty dreams, while a short one signifies more modest and accomplishable goals.
• Material: Represents your emotional tone in relation to your goals. Meaning a metal ladder could represent one who is determined beyond doubt to fulfill their dreams, whereas a wooden, rickety ladder could represent one who is more flexible with their aspirations or uncertain of their path.
• Location: Represents your ability to ask for help. If the ladder is leaning on or close to the cube, this signifies wanting to achieve your goals on your own, while a ladder far from the cube signifies your willingness to get a helping hand from others to achieve your dreams.
• Rungs: Broken or missing rungs can represent that you perceive obstacles along the path to pursuing and achieving your dreams.

Horse

The horse you visualized represents your emotional desires and relationships (often romantic ones).

• Color & Appearance: Represents your emotional nature in relationships and your openness to monogamy. A ‘color’ example could be a white horse being more calm in relationships, whereas a black horse being more mysterious. An ‘appearance’ example could be a bucking bronco representing someone who doesn’t care for monogamy and currently wants to roam free, while a gentle horse nibbling grass reflects one who is open to a relationship.
• Activity: Represents your level of independence, e.g., a galloping horse indicates someone who isn’t afraid to run free and be self-motivated. Meanwhile, a horse that is saddled and still can showcase one who is more dependent on their loved ones, or may even be emotionally stagnant.
• Location: Represents how important relationships are in your life. If the horse is close to the cube, relationships are central. If the horse is distant from the cube, relationships feel secondary or even hypothetically frightening to enter into.

It’s important that the horse can be interpreted in multiple ways. Meaning, it represents your romantic interests and relationships, but also how you care to give and receive love.

Storm

The storm you visualized represents your fears (internal conflicts) and struggles (external challenges).

• Appearance: Represents the depth of your fears. The more threatening the storm appears, the deeper-rooted your fears are, whereas a light rainstorm may indicate occasional passing worries or concerns. If you see a rainbow, this indicates hope for the future and emotional recovery.
• Duration: Represents the level of emotional turmoil you’re in. The longer the storm is projected to last, the deeper the turmoil feels. Meaning if it’s a quick shower, your stress and fear are fleeting emotions, whereas if the storm is long-lasting and heavy, your stress and fear are more consistent and far-reaching.
• Location: Represents how proximal you are to the turmoil in your life. If the storm is far away, you may recognize certain stressors or fears, but are not presently experiencing them. If the storm is over you, you may be currently in the weeds of some emotional distress.

Flowers

The flowers you visualized represent where you find joy and connection in your life.

• Appearance: The color and type of flower represent your emotional nature when it comes to connection. Vibrant flowers often symbolize extrovertedness and openness to friendship, whereas thorny or wilted flowers may signal that your walls are up. The health of the flowers and their coloring may also signify how nurtured you feel by the relationships in your life.
• Quantity: The amount of flowers you see represents how large you like your social circle to be. The larger the field of flowers, the more people you enjoy connecting with; meanwhile, one flower or a small patch of flowers indicates you enjoy a more intimate circle of friends.
• Location: Where the flowers are in relation to the cube represents your natural inclination toward introvertedness or extrovertedness to feel restoration and joy in your life. Meaning, if the flowers are close to the cube, your social circle is important to keeping your vitality and happiness up; you’re more extroverted. If the flowers are far from the cube, you prefer more time alone in order to rejuvenate your senses and feel happy.

Reflection

While this test is fun to take and reflect on, it’s good to remember that its accuracy varies and there are hundreds of ways to interpret your answers.

Rely on it as a fun reflective tool to address your current emotional landscape. Using each object as a prompt to further reflect or visualize your emotions can take this test a step further and help you unlock how you’re truly feeling in your life lately! All in all, have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously, and allow your interpretations to ebb and flow according to what feels right in your heart and gut.

As I entered 4 years of recovery, I started having digestive issues. I had a new primary care doctor. She was so thorough and detailed and immediately had me tested for Hepatitis C based on my background and information I had given her. I got my answer through a positive Hepatitis C test. The walls around me seemed to crumble, I could not breathe and I could not think. Within those 4 years of sobriety, I had gotten married and had two children, what if I had infected them? Never had I been tested for Hepatitis C even with my gynecologist knowing about my history. Again, these were missed opportunities for me to find out about my Hepatitis C. I did not know to how advocate for myself and I was still learning to find my voice those first 4 years. After my diagnosis, I went to endless doctor appointments to figure out an appropriate medication regimen. I ended up taking one medication once a day for 12 weeks. This medicine saved my life. In September of 2022 I was announced as “cured.” I continue to have yearly blood work and monitoring on my liver.

When I was diagnosed, I had to assess how I was going to tell people. First, it was my partner, getting him tested and our two infant children. Trying to explain to my children’s pediatrician that I needed to have them tested for Hepatitis C because of possible exposure was a very low point in my life. This had a huge impact on my mental health and felt like it was destroying me. One day, someone reminded me what I had been taught for 4 years in recovery, “tell your story, secrets keep us sick.” I did just that. I got on my social media and announced my diagnosis of Hep C, where I was mentally and emotionally while continuing to document every milestone in my treatment. It was not until I started getting questions and people reaching out saying, “I’m in the same situation” did I start to find my purpose and self-worth again. Overcoming fear, shame, and guilt by sharing my story helped me cultivate a purpose and identity.

My relationships are stronger than ever, I believe, because of what I had to overcome throughout my Hepatitis C journey. I am grateful for the undeniable love, support, and comfort I received from loved ones. I found a career working with folks who are getting sober from drugs and alcohol. I went back to school and finished my bachelor’s degree. I was recently accepted into my master’s program and will start that adventure in June 2026.

Over the past year and a half, I have flown all over the country working and speaking with doctors and other people in the medical field. I enjoy working with the medical community and helping them learn how to better serve people who are diagnosed with Hepatitis C. I have told my diagnosis story and shared the multiple missed opportunities to get tested earlier along the way. I have captured the resilience and mental strength it takes to overcome this disease. I will continue to share my story and remind society that my past does not define me. I no longer sit with the labels that come with being an addict. Instead, I embrace my challenges and make them teachable and shareable moments. Today, I decide which labels serve me and I will walk away from those that do not.

Emphasizing the importance of getting tested can change the trajectory of health for many people. Learning to ask questions and advocate for oneself, which took me years, can help minimize the unknown. Continuing to monitor my liver and my health in general is how I show up for my body and myself. Sharing my story, which was once one of pain and suffering, has now brought me hope and freedom. One of my goals is to make sure that people never feel alone with a Hepatitis C diagnosis.

With community, we never have to be alone again.

2. When evaluating potential life mates, you focus on their actual strengths instead of fixating on superficial traits like height, weight, breast size, butt shape, or bicep circumference. (At least, you take their actual strengths into serious consideration.)

3. You’re less likely to get blackout drunk because you know that drinking your face off leads to being massively hungover and you’d rather not waste an entire day recuperating.

4. You’re more risk averse in general—not because you’re boring but because you’re no longer totally reckless. You’re suddenly aware that your actions have consequences, and that you’re not actually invincible.

5. That said, you know that letting loose is critical to leading a happy, fulfilling life. So you do get too drunk sometimes, and you might push a boundary here and there. The difference is that your spontaneity is rooted in mindfulness to a certain extent.

6. You no longer entertain silly wish-I-were-a-super-model thoughts because you’re relatively comfortable with the looks you’ve got.

7. Plus, you know that being super model beautiful wouldn’t fix your problems. Gisele grade looks might even lead to a few additional headaches in life.

8. You also realize that being hot wouldn’t make you good in bed, or guarantee mind-blowing sex.

9. Great sex is something you’ve finally figured out, and it mostly hinges upon chemistry, confidence, and comfort—not friction from two six-packs rubbing against each other.

10. You don’t give two shits about what is or isn’t “trendy.” You’d rather invest in a timeless piece of clothing than fall for something of-the-moment like an “it” bag.

11. You’re pretty much over high-end labels and all clothes and accessories splattered with insignia. In fact, you kind of feel like a fool for letting Abercrombie & Fitch, Juicy Couture or any other brand exploit your chest and ass as advertising space in years past.

12. The novelty and excitement of getting ready to go out at night has almost entirely worn off. The “going out” section of your wardrobe no longer really exists because you tend to rock your everyday gear to hang out with friends no matter the setting.

13. You rarely fight with any of your siblings because you’ve grown to appreciate them for exactly who they are as individuals. You even lean on them for advice, especially when it comes to dealing with your parents.

14. When they’re not driving you nuts, you feel sincerely grateful to your parents for sacrificing so much on your behalf and for dealing with all of your crap over the years.

15. You actually want to brush your teeth regularly, sometimes even more than twice a day.

16. When it comes to skincare, you’re more proactive than reactive. In other words, you wash your face and apply special creams to offset aging, not just to combat zits.

17. You finally understand why dry shampoo is so amazing.

18. You’re also a big fan of hats, headbands, pigtails and any other clever method of avoiding the tedium of hair washing for one more day.

19. You schedule your own annual physicals and dental checkups without prompting from mom or dad. Usually.

20. You count yourself a master of calendar reminders. You’ve also made it a point to start showing up to all your appointments instead of flaking at the last minute because it suddenly seems super important not to be rude or unreliable.

21. On Sunday afternoons, you find yourself wondering what will be on 60 Minutes later. You’re also partial to the educational programming on channels like History, Discovery, and National Geographic.

22. You finally see the value in saving some money because the future doesn’t seem all that distant anymore. You plan to start setting a certain percentage of each paycheck aside like your parents taught you some time really soon, maybe even now-ish.

(And not because you roll out of bed and wear your pj’s all day.) From casual sweats to a classy blouse, you wear what you feel and you rock it with confidence.

2. Solo shopping is preferred.

A mall date with your girls is always fun, but you’re perfectly okay on your own (if not more productive). You can stroll at your own pace, pick out exactly what you want, get in, try on, and get out.

3. Dressing for a date doesn’t give you anxiety whatsoever.

Just another day, another outfit.

4. You’ve never been one to send a dressing room selfie to the group chat.

You know when you look good. No need for the label of approval, even from the besties.

5. You own several taller-than-all-the-boys pairs of heels.

And you really don’t care, even if they limit your dating prospects. They’re cute heels. And you’re one hot giantess.

6. There’s a certain type of clothing that your friends identify as ‘so you’.

And that’s because you have your own, unique style.

7. You’ve either been accused of ‘bumming it too much’ or ‘making us all look bad’ at least once in your life.

You’re comfortable chillin’ yoga pants and a hoodie when you need a lazy day (or week). And you can doll up and dress up (in 5 min. or less) for multiple days in a row. Haters gonna hate.

8. You’ll wear white all year long, thank you very much.

And Crocs, too.

9. You have at least one completely crappy article of clothing that you totally wear in public.

And that article of clothing (probably sweatpants) is your favorite and super comfy, so who cares if the bottoms are ripped and there’s a hole in the pocket?!

10. You really don’t give a sh*t about what’s ‘hot’ or ‘in’ or ‘trending’ right now.

And you probably never will.

11. You’ll ‘season push’ whatever the hell you feel like.

From shorts when it’s 50 degrees to scarves in the summer. Your world.

12. Your closet varies from sporty to girly to trendy to chill.

You don’t have a set style. You wear what feels good, what makes sense for what you’re doing, and what you like, from floral print dresses to leather jackets and fishnets.

13. You never understood why the whole day-to-night thing is a big deal.

You have no problem strutting your stuff in the same outfit all day (unless it’s a post-workout outfit).

14. You don’t take your outfits (or yourself) too seriously.

Silly hat, Hello Kitty shirt, a pair of overalls—they’re just clothes.

15. You only have one rule for getting dressed.

And the rule is that there aren’t any.

Watch two children fight over a toy. One might freak out or completely break down when the toy is stolen but as soon as it’s returned and an apology is given, playtime returns to normal. Even if the child is too young to completely understand the weight of those three, simple words, they still ease the frustration and life continues forward. Those apologies matter.

2. Tomorrow is a new day.

Children have good days…and crazy, tantrum-throwing, feet-pounding days. Each day is different and depends on so many things. (It’s like that for adults too, though on a lesser, more appropriate scale). But even after a bad day, a child will return the next morning with a smile on his/her face and no recollection of the past. Each day brings new happiness and a new opportunity to start over.

3. Sharing is caring.

We can heal when we share—half of our crackers, half of our train set, half of our dirt piles on the playground. Children know this inherently, though they often struggle (as we still do as adults!) But what kids know, innocently and in their tender ways, is that sharing brings more healing than we can imagine. It brings us together, mends our hearts, and shows us that we are not alone in our struggles and fears. And, of course, it gives us someone to play with.

4. Forgiveness holds power.

Children let go. They don’t hold grudges. They don’t remember past anger or hurt or bitterness towards one another. Instead, they circle back to playing, even playing with ones who’ve stolen their favorite cars or pushed them down on the grass. They know what we seem to forget as adults—forgiveness holds incredible power.

5. Sleep is restorative.

A good nap solves everything. And what a nap can’t solve, a decent night’s sleep most definitely can.

6. A good cry is necessary sometimes.

We all face b.s. Yucky-smelling broccoli that we don’t want to eat, our block tower falling down, grass stains on our knees, or, you know, bills that we can’t pay. However big or small, these problems affect us, drive us crazy, and sometimes make us completely lose our cool. But what children can teach us is the power of a good cry. Letting it out helps us release our pent-up emotions, helps us calm down, and helps us make peace with what we can’t control and the strength to change what we can.

7. Distraction can be positive.

Take a screaming child and show them cars passing by the window and they’ll forget all about what was making them upset. Sometimes a little distraction is all we need to get our mind off things that are bugging us. (Yep, this works for adults too.)

8. Hugs can turn an entire day around.

Children hug everyone. Unsolicited, unrestricted, nondiscriminatory hugs. All the time—happy, sad, mad, or in-between. How much better of a world would we have if we hugged like children do?

9. Snuggles with a loved one are necessary sometimes.

A little kid doesn’t always have the best concept of time, which, of course can drive you crazy sometimes. But it’s wonderful when you slow down with them, snuggle up with them, and live in the moment.

10. There’s no such thing as giving up.

Children don’t know when to quit. When it comes to something they can’t understand or do independently, they will pursue it with all the stamina and skill they have, even if they keep failing over and over again. Sometimes this can be exhausted and frustrating, but their naïve persistence is truly admirable.

11. Moving forward is brave and more than enough.

There will be plenty of times in a child’s life (and adult’s) where they reach a roadblock. Whether something small, like not being able to complete a task, or monumental, like family abuse, they will continue forward. Sometimes this is because they don’t know any better, but often it’s because that’s the only thing they know how to do—move forward into the next day, next moment—which is an inspiring lesson for us adults.

12. Frustration is part of the process.

You will get pissed. From not being able to stack your tower of Legos to driving behind a complete idiot on the highway—frustration is normal. Embrace it.

13. Smiles mean more than one may think.

A smile at the start of every morning is what guides that child’s entire day. Smiling lifts spirits, it changes trains of thought and heals broken hearts.

14. ‘I love yous’ should be shared openly.

Children will openly tell you they love you. Even if you’re not related in any way. You can be the teacher they colored with in the afternoon, the girl they shared marbles with at recess, the crossing guard that held their hand at the street corner—it doesn’t matter, they show love. This is a lesson for all of us that we somehow forget in the transition from kid to big kid: Telling others we love them is important, is restorative, is kind, is healing.

No more ‘almost-relationships,’ ‘things,’ or temporary connections. Instead of falling into people who disregard your feelings, leave you hanging, ignore your texts, or cancel plans with you, put your energy and heart into those who are truly invested.

2. No longer will I stay in a relationship (platonic or romantic) that makes me feel unworthy.

You are too beautiful, too special, too unique, and too valued to be with someone who does not see these traits in you. Life is fleeting—don’t waste time in a relationship that doesn’t inspire you, strengthen you, or make you feel alive. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, a friendship or even family connection, know that you are worth more than abuse, pain, or mistreatment.

3. No longer will I let myself be ruled by everyone else’s voice instead of my own.

This year, promise to listen to the sound of your own voice. Do not worry so much about what other people think about you, or their opinion of your decisions and choices. Instead, focus on what you truly feel in your heart, and follow that inner truth wildly.

4. No longer will I accept less than what I deserve—in any way this statement can be applied.

Maybe a relationship, maybe a job, maybe this is simply something you’ve been ‘putting up with’ for the sake of making life easier. No more. You do not need to accept anything less than brilliant, passionate love and the opportunities you rightfully deserve.

5. No longer will I surround myself with people who only bring negativity.

Promise to surround yourself with smiles, with encouragement, with talk that brings you and others up instead of down. Give yourself distance from the toxic people who only wish to drag you with them.

6. No longer will I put forth all my effort into someone who doesn’t reciprocate in the slightest.

This year, evaluate where your energy is going, acknowledge where it is not being returned, and pull away from people and things that drain you. You don’t have to feel bad about focusing on what you need, or putting effort into the people who are actually genuine.

7. No longer will I settle for a job/environment where I don’t feel inspired.

Maybe this relates to your work, to your apartment or house, to the town or city where you reside—however this applies to you—this year, stop settling for less. You don’t have to belong to something/somewhere simply because you have in the past. Pursue the places and opportunities and jobs that make you feel motivated.

8. No longer will I make excuses for why I can’t have, or reach, or gain something I long for.

This is the year of no excuses. Stop telling yourself you are unfit to chase your dreams, unworthy of the love you wish for, undeserving of something truly good. You are the only one who can carve the path for your life—think in a positive direction.

9. No longer will I feel inadequate or doubt my strength.

This year, acknowledge your incredible strength. See all the moments where you found your wings, where you pushed through, where you overcame obstacles you didn’t think you would. Instead of feeling inadequate or living in self-doubt, empower yourself with self-love.

10. No longer will I live in fear of what I can’t control.

You are not meant to have it all figured out, to know exactly where you will go or what will happen next, to have all the answers. This year, release your grip on the unknown and celebrate the freedom of letting life happen.

11. No longer will I let my defeat, or mistakes of the past define where I go.

This is a New Year, your year. Don’t cling to what was, or what pushed you down. Instead, lift your head, your eyes, your spirit and look forward to what beautiful things will be.

We love airports because they remind us how easy it all is – to leave, to return, to roam far, to stay close. We spend years agonizing over what to do next – should we stay, should we go, should we linger, should we leave. And in the airport, it all seems so simple – there are limitless planes, headed to limitless corners of the planet. Within 48 hours, we could be just about anywhere we wanted. And suddenly none of it seems so complicated. It’s a gate and a nap and a meal and a window seat. The life we’ve spent our whole lives yearning is tangible. It’s here, in the airport. It is flashing in front of us on noticeboards.

We love airports because they strip us of our egos. We’re all scared when the plane starts to shake. We’re all leaving somebody we love. We’re all caught in the transient nature of coming and going and for a little while, inside the airport walls, we are no different than anyone else. We all groan when that flight gets delayed. We all don’t want to pay $14 dollars for that sandwich. We’re all a bit tired or on edge or ticked off. We’re all here together, for a while.

We love airports because they remind us of the people we could be. Of the infinite choices we have, not just about where to go or where to stay but who we could embody and become. In the airport we are nobody and everyone at once. We’re the compilation of the people we’ve been and the places we’re going and whatever else falls between the cracks. We’re the businessman headed to Hong Kong. We’re the first class passenger jetsetting to Paris. We’re the bare-bones traveller who is wandering far away to find himself. We are simply ourselves, defined only by the clothes on our back and the contents of our luggage. We can slip through the cracks of our mistakes and all the people we wish we were not.

We love airports because they make us remember – that the problems and choices and troubles that plague us can be left behind in a physical way. That there is no person who stopped loving us in Bangkok. That nobody scorns our name in Philadelphia. That there are endless cities, endless destinations, endless corners of the world and endless people we could become within them. That even if starting all over isn’t easy, it is possible. It’s an option. It exists.

We love airports because they take us away, momentarily, from the people we’ve become and the lives that we have chosen. They make us think about not just where we’re going but where we could be going instead – as if we’ve flipped a coin up in the air and get to choose, in the moment before it lands, which side we really hope it’s on. We see our errors so clearly in the airport – the planes we should have boarded, the destinations we wish we were speeding on towards.

We love airports because they let us be effectively nowhere. And only when we are briefly, temporarily nowhere, do we realize exactly where we ought to be headed after all.